“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” comes to mind when I think of all the preparations I still have to make for my placement visit to Cape Town. (Leave it to Dickens to say it best.) Getting sick last week threw me for a loop and got me behind in everything. I’m still not hundred percent, and I’m trying not to get overwhelmed as I begin to hash out my to-do list.

While I was sick, I started to think about the true purpose of my placement trip. I have been so busy with the preparations that I haven’t had much time to think about the reason why I’m traveling to Cape Town in the first place. Yes, I’m going there to visit four organizations–Scripture Union South Africa, Growing the Church, Anglican Youth South Africa, Anglican Students’ Federation–with which I may work for the long term. But what do these visits really signify? A lot, to tell the truth; and I’m somewhat nervous. My skill sets and personality needs to match their needs and vice versa; my placement needs to be a good fit.

I think my fears go back to the old elementary school fear with which we adults still struggle: Will they like me? Will they want me to be a part of their team? I’m praying for God to help me lay aside these fears and to trust him to lead me to the right organization. In the end, that’s where I want to be; there’s where I can make a difference, give, receive, learn, and grow. God has been guiding each step of my journey to become a cross-cultural Christian worker, and I know God will continue to do so. I just need to listen.