Tag: change

Advent in Summer

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn Anglican Missionaries4 Comments

DSCN6142As I work at home today and listen to Christmas music, my brain is trying to wrap around the fact that this year I will be having a summer Christmas. It’s hot outside; yesterday was very hot—even for me, someone who loves summer and heat.

I overheard an American say that he was looking forward to spending Christmas in a country that wasn’t too commercial about it. I’m not sure about that, at least in regards to Cape Town. The shops started putting up Christmas stuff in early October, and the Christmas music has been blaring in them for some time. In some shops, it looks like Santa Claus’s factory blew up in there. It’s Winter Wonderland (in the summer) overkill. People keep warning me about the jacked-up prices (which is definitely true) and the upcoming holiday traffic. Apparently, the country pretty much shuts down from mid-December to mid-January to celebrate the festive season. After all, it is the heart of summer and school break. I, for one, am looking forward to having some quality time off before heading to the States for a while.

But I am so busy. It has been an intense two months of trying to get things organised and in a good place. Yet so much still needs to be done before I head Stateside. I’m trying to have my ministry work in good shape while I am out of the office; I’m trying to organise some training conferences for early next year. I have last-minute visa stuff to sort out, and I have to lay the foundation for my Home Missions Assignment. In addition, I need to start support raising. Whew.

Yet I am determined to enjoy every moment of my summer Christmas with my hubby and SA family and friends. So this year I will be dreaming of a balmy Christmas and walking on a sandy-beach wonderland.

 

 

Questions

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn Anglican Missionaries1 Comment

Ever since the wedding, I have been inundated by a sea of questions. That’s to be expected during the first few weeks of marriage, especially in a situation like ours, where many of the basics (for example—where are we going to live long-term) haven’t been determined. But sometimes I find myself saying inside, Can we just ease into married life, please?

There are three questions I am asked a lot and would like to address:

  • What is my new name? Legally, I’m not changing my name—at least not now. It’s just too complicated to change my Abstract Bridename, when my visa and South African paperwork are all in my maiden name. Socially, I will style myself as Nicole Corlew Curtis. We’ll see how long I can keep that up since it is a bit of a mouthful.
  • Am I still a missionary? And if so, can one still donate to my missionary account via SAMS? Yes, my status as a SAMS missionary with Growing the Church isn’t changing. Everything remains the same, including my ministry work and my need to raise my own support. And yes, people who want to support my ministry can still donate to my missionary account through SAMS. (Thank you!)
  • What is married life like so far? This is a hard question to answer! It is wonderful and full of joy. It is a transition to be sure, especially when you marry later in life as we did and have been used to doing life on our own. I am rather surprised to find the joy and challenge in the detail—getting used to sharing a bed with another person, having extra help around the house, traveling together to church, making meals for each other, coordinating schedules. I am reminded of what Fr. Leigh Spruill said in his homily for our wedding: A wedding is like the incarnation of Christ. It is only the beginning. And it is true—our wedding is only the beginning of our marriage, and it takes time for two lives to weave into one.

A New Chapter

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn Anglican Missionaries7 Comments

In a whirlwind, a new chapter of my life begins; now I am a married woman. Seven weeks ago, I was headed home; I couldn’t wait. International and domestic travels, wedding appointments and planning, quality time with family and friends, doggie time with my fur-nephew, Christmas, wedding, honeymoon, celebrating a new year, meeting with SAMS (my mission agency), back home in Cape Town—all done within six weeks. No wonder I’m tired and way behind in my thank-you cards and unpacking. (I won’t even mention the messy state of my flat and all the weeds in my garden.)

But I’m excited to begin this new chapter of my life, as I add the title of “wife” to my seasoned labels of daughter, sister, and friend. I wonder what the first year of marriage will hold for us; I know it will entail a lot of change.

IMG_5138Wayne and I are so blessed and so happy. Sometimes I still can’t believe how much God has blessed me with such a wonderful husband. I still pinch myself when I think about our wedding, which surpassed all of my dreams. From the time I woke up to the time I went to bed, I enjoyed every moment of our special day. It was a day of pure joy. I will never forget the feeling of happiness I had when I was able to get a glimpse of all our guests sitting in the church; in my mind I thought, Wow. All these people love us. How many people have the honour and privilege of being surrounded at one time by so many people who love them? We are so blessed!

We are so grateful for our family and friends who helped to make our day so special and who continue to share in our happiness. We love you all.

The Orchestra of God

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn Uncategorized4 Comments

When I was younger, I used to think that God would call me to do something that I would totally dislike. Even worse, I thought he would call me to live in a way that would run contrary to how I was wired. I was so wrong, having a warped concept of God’s love for his children and a lack of understanding of his desire for us to live an abundant life. God has equipped each of us with certain gifts and talents in order to use for his glory, for the general good, and for our enjoyment. I don’t think he would call us to live in a way that was contrary to how he made us.

A few years ago, I had the pleasure to meet Emanuel Ax, one of my favorite pianist.
A few years ago, I had the pleasure to meet Emanuel Ax, one of my favorite pianist.

This is how I see it: The kingdom of God is like an orchestra, and each one of us is gifted to play a particular instrument. God, the conductor, wouldn’t call a violinist to play percussion; but God, at times, would stretch the violinist out of her range, training and disciplining the violinist to become the best violinist that she can be and thus helping the orchestra to become the best it can be. At times in our lives, God may call us to play out of our range; but I don’t think he would call us to play an instrument that we aren’t equipped to play.

I see this reflected in my life in South Africa. God has definitely called me out of my comfort zone, but I am still living a life that complements my nature. I live in a beautiful city, not the bush. I am able to use my gifts and talents in youth ministry and publishing to help the church, instead of being asked to use gift sets that I don’t have, such as planting a church.

What are your thoughts about God’s work and call in our lives? What instrument do you play in God’s orchestra? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Stretching

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn Uncategorized3 Comments
Str-e-e-e-t-c--h
Str-e-e-e-t-c–h

“But you moved to Africa to be stretched out of your comfort zone,” my friend said. Yeah, but, I thought, I can take only so much change. I wish God would place me in “time out” for a while.

In a few weeks, I’ll be traveling to Tanzania in order to be trained in Rooted in Jesus Junior. As I read through the training manual, I only get more excited about my trip. I’m thrilled and honored that I will be trained in this powerful and transformative discipleship course for older children and young teens and that I will be bringing back this course to South Africa so that we can introduce the course to Sunday school and confirmation teachers. People in South Africa are already asking for training, so it’s quite exciting.

At the same time, I’m a bit nervous about the trip. I will be totally stretched out of my comfort zone, as I travel in rural Tanzania. In a way, I feel as though I will be hurled out of it. This American city girl is about to get the American city girl knocked out her. I will be traveling with a training team from the UK, and we have to bring our own water and loo rolls (toilet paper). In one of the places, we’ll be using something called a “long drop toilet.” (I think I’ll let this one surprise me.) I had to get several inoculations for the trip, and I’ll have to take malaria medicine and sleep under a mosquito net. I have been invited to preach at one of the parishes; and this, in a way, makes me more nervous than anything. Talking with my friend about my anxiety led to the snippet of conversation with which I opened this blog post.

I have no doubt that my trip to Tanzania is going to change me in some profound ways. I keep hearing about how hospitable the Tanzanian people are, and I know that I will be met with some mind-blowing hospitality. I look forward to visiting Rooted in Jesus Junior groups and to meeting the children. I look forward to being trained in the course and to helping out with the training during the second week. I’m praying for God’s direction as I start planning my sermon.

Yes, I’m being stretched out of my comfort zone. Like physical exercise, it is tiring and at times painful; but it is also exhilarating.

Adapting

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn Uncategorized4 Comments

I can hardly believe it, but I have been living in Cape Town for nearly six weeks. Saturday will mark the milestone. All is going well. I continue to work hard on the Anglicans Ablaze study guide booklet. I’m beginning to meet with local and provincial youth leaders so that we can start building relationships. I participated in my first Rooted in Jesus training, and on Saturday I will start the Mission Shaped Ministry course, in the hopes that Growing the Church will have the opportunity to help start a Fresh Expressions of Church at a local university.

 CarOn the home front, I have moved into a lovely flat, opened a bank account, subscribed to an ISP, and started grocery shopping on my own. I bought a car earlier this week, and I’m beginning to drive. (Today I drove on the motorway for the first time!) I am spending a lot of time with my South African friends and getting to know them and their families better. I enjoy this time the most, and I am learning loads about South African culture from them.

I am also beginning to miss the familiar—my family, my friends, my church, food, the shops, Starbucks, an active social life, work that was routine, tennis, kickboxing, walks around my neighborhood, grocery stores with aisles of choices, houses that aren’t gated in with fences and barb wire and locked up with burglary bars, walks in the parks, the freedom to come and go as I please by myself, my puppy-nephew, taxis that abide by traffic rules, words spelled with z‘s and not s‘s.

There are many things that I love about my new culture; others I find rather strange. No doubt my feelings indicate the birth pangs of culture shock, which is just a natural part of the process of living in another country. During my missionary training at MTI, we were warned about the phase of culture shock and were prepped for it. I think being aware of this phase is key and will make going through the process much easier than if I didn’t know otherwise. The most important thing about culture shock is not getting stuck in it. Equally important, I believe, is not blitzing through it, trying to escape the discomfort. I’m praying for the courage to live into the culture shock, to acknowledge the discomfort, to reflect deeply on my home culture and on my adopted culture, to emerge on the other side as a person who can live healthy and happily in both of her worlds.

Connected!

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn Uncategorized5 Comments

I finally have Internet at home, and I am excited beyond belief! I had to go through loads of paperwork to have a phone line in my name and to get a DSL service provider; but once all those things were in place, it didn’t take long for the companies to get me connected. Yippie!!! Can you tell that I am excited?

Boys Fishing in Gordan's Bay
Boys Fishing in Gordan’s Bay

I have been in Cape Town for nearly a month, and things are going well.  However, during the past few days, the mental stress of settling in has caught up with me. Each day I have spent loads of time trying to get Internet at home, a cell phone, a bank account, and a car. In a normal situation, these things can be time consuming; but as a foreigner, it seems to take triple the time. It can be quite exhausting. Plus, not having Internet at home has made me feel very disconnected from my family and friends. That feeling was definitely adding to my mental stress. I’m thrilled that my family and friends are now just a click away. Thank God for our marvelous technology.

I’m grateful, though, that my friends and colleagues at Growing the Church have helped me with all the settling in items that I named above. I can’t imagine trying to do this on my own. After experiencing such things on the “other side” as a foreigner, I will be much more empathetic and helpful to my international friends when I move back to the States. Moving to another country is truly like starting over. In a way, you have to rebuild your life—establishing yourself and unlearning a lot of things that may work in your home country but not in your adopted country. It is definitely a learning experience and not for the faint of heart.

Training: Week Three—Grief and Loss and Good-byes

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn Uncategorized4 Comments

I returned from training a few days ago, and I’m still processing all I learned. It was truly an amazing three weeks, and I already miss my community of new friends.

We spent the last week of training talking about grief and loss, hellos and good-byes. The life of a missionary is full of hellos and good-byes, and grief and loss are a true reality as missionaries prepare to leave for the field. I know that I have been grieving since the summer, mourning the loss of so many things I love about my life—moving from my city and condo, leaving my job, saying good-bye to my favorite cafes, hangouts, and dear friends. In a few weeks, I’ll be saying good-bye to my beloved family and my closest friends. Sometimes thinking about it is unbearable, but I’m determined to embrace the good-byes and to live into them. It is a part of being a missionary. It is a part of life.

By loving, we take risks. If we didn’t love, good-byes wouldn’t hurt so much. But life is full of risks, and choosing to love others is always worth the risk. When it came to hellos and good-byes, I used to feel like Charlie Brown, who in his typical depressed and despairing state, sang woefully about why life couldn’t be filled with more hellos and less good-byes. 

Earlier this year, I began to change my perspective.  A sermon my rector, Father Leigh Spruill, preached has challenged me to live into the good-byes, to see saying good-bye as ministry. (I invite you to download and listen to the sermon, “Saying Goodbye Is a Ministry.”) Without his sermon, I think I would have been tempted to gloss over the many good-byes in my life with words, such as, “I’ll see you soon. We’ll be in touch. The time will fly by.” They are well-meaning words, but they dull the reality of the loss by not truly acknowledging it. Instead, I’m trying my best to acknowledge the loss, to name what I will miss about the person, and to voice my blessings and well-wishes for him or her in the future. It is a hard discipline, and I often want to cower; but with God’s help, I’m determined to say my good-byes well. Please pray that my last few weeks at home will be full of beautiful good-byes.

Training: Week Two—Stress and Rest

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn Uncategorized5 Comments

When I first came to training, I didn’t know what to expect. I have been pleasantly surprised. Each day gets better and better. I’m being stretched and challenged to grow both spiritually and emotionally. But more than anything, I love the amazing sense of community among my fellow missionaries. Although we have known one another only for a couple of weeks, there is camaraderie, fellowship, and loads of fun. It’s a joy to talk with people who are experiencing the same things that I am. My new friendships are a gift.

Playing with new friends at the Olympic Training Park
Playing with new friends at the Olympic Training Park

We spent most of last week talking about stress and rest. We were challenged to look deeply into how we handle stress and were encouraged to cultivate healthy ways to cope with stress. The life of a missionary (especially at first) is one of elevated stress. In my new life everything will be new; and although that is exciting, it is also stressful. For example, I will have to learn how to grocery shop, bank, and drive on the left side of the road. Grocery shopping, banking, and driving are things I can do in my sleep back home (well, maybe not drive)), but even the most mundane tasks will become stressors in my life as I have to relearn them. I need to be prepared, and awareness is the first step.

We also spent significant time on the need to practice Sabbath rest. I was reminded of what we talked about in my huddle group (small group) at church—scripture teaches us to work out of our rest. Ironically, before I said “yes” to God’s call to serve in South Africa, I used to have a healthy rhythm of work, rest, and play. But the past two years have been filled with preparations, and I fell out of that rhythm. I am determined to create a new rhythm of work, play, and rest that will fit my new cultural setting. Living a balanced lifestyle will make me a better team member, a more in-tuned daughter, sister, and friend, and a healthier child of God.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”Rest by the Lake

–Matthew 11:28-29, The Message

An Evening with the Sisters

On By Nicole Corlew CurtisIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Rockin the FroI don’t really celebrate Halloween; but I wanted to dress up this year, so I did. When a friend invited me to attend the Vigil of All Saints at the motherhouse of the Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecilia, I wanted to go; so I went, although that meant canceling a previous commitment.

I’m so glad I went to the vigil. After getting over my initial surprise about how young the nuns were (most looked my age or younger) and over the newness of the liturgy, I settled into the service and began to listen to what was being spoken and sung. Two things really struck me. One was the priest’s homily, in which he talked about only one thing being needed in our lives—realizing and accepting that God gave his son for us and responding in love. The other thing that struck me was the sisters’ chanting of the litany of the saints, which for me has shed new light on the meaning of Hebrews 12:1.

Today is All Saints’ Day, and I tend to think of this holy day in three ways—remembering the saints of old, acknowledging the everyday saints of today, and remembering my friends and family members who have died. I never really think of the saints (whether extraordinary or ordinary) who have died as being living saints, but I find it interesting that the writer of Hebrews uses the present tense: “We are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1a, NRSV). The saints who have gone before us are a living and breathing cloud of witnesses.

As I continue to think about this scripture, I’m challenged to think about my identity. Over the past few months, I have been struggling consciously and subconsciously about my identity. In two weeks, I will be leaving my job at The Upper Room. I will no longer be able to refer to myself as an editor. I fought hard not to tie up my identity with my line of work, but I did. That’s what we do as Americans. But the other night, when a friend was helping me sort out my clothes, I realized that I had also tied up my identity in my clothes, my shoes, my books, and all manner of stuff. As I’m scaling down my material possessions, stripping down to the bare necessities, I believe God is also stripping down the trappings of my soul, the clutter of my heart.

Who am I, truly? Beyond all the clutter, trappings, and labels, I think I would find God’s beloved daughter and a member of this great cloud of witnesses of ordinary and extraordinary saints.  As the hymn goes, “I sing the song of the saints of God . . . and I mean to be one too.”

*This post is dedicated to two friends and two saints in my life, Stuart and Gina.